Tag Archives: gchat

The Gchat Betrayal

2 Jul

Gchat and I have always been BFF’s. It makes me laugh, it makes me sigh. When people ask me what I do at work, I tell them I Gchat like a boss. But Gchat betrayed me, and I may never look at it the same way again.

You may remember Derek, my “friend” who I may or may not have gone on a date with depending on who you ask. Well, Derek and I still hang out. And for weeks I continued to consciously ignore the building sexual tension that accompanied our trips to chipotle, watching an occasional movie, and my personal favorite – going to a shooting range. This all changed whenever one night, after finishing up a documentary about education reform (very sexy stuff) he kissed me.

Crap. This is what I had been trying to avoid. I like Derek, and I know he likes me more… But I can’t date him, or anyone, at this point because when it comes to relationships I am anything but stable right now. And I care about him too much to just string him along until I figure out what my issues are and possibly royally screw him over.

This is where Gchat comes into play.

The following morning, I log onto my work computer, immediately pull up Gmail (like every other human being in America, this is always my first task), and see who is online. One of my best friends from college is on and immediately I begin my story. I tell her how we were hanging out, he kissed me, and I told him it was a bad idea and that we needed to stop. At this point in the conversation, Derek also messaged me on Gchat (you may see where this is going). Wanting to give my girlfriend some background information on Derek, I copy a link to his facebook page and paste it into the Gchat box.

It was the wrong Gchat box.

But did I stop there? Oh no. In fact, here is, word for word, exactly what I sent to Derek before realizing who I was messaging:

Me:

Here’s his facebook… feel free to creep away
he went to ******* college and now works at The ********
I think his job is super sexy
and he himself isn’t unattractive
Oh my god
OH MY GOD
Shit
Derek
I’m so sorry
That wasn’t meant to send to you
oh my god
Fuck
I’m so so sorry

I couldn’t believe I had done that. Gchat had betrayed me. Hadn’t we gone through enough together? Hadn’t I confided all of my secrets to it/friends over the past years? Why had it automatically popped up Derek’s chat box when I was speaking to my other friend??

At this point, my hands were literally shaking as I awaited some form of a response from Derek. My co-workers, who aren’t used to me saying anything more offensive than “damn” were quite shocked to hear me exclaim the F-word for anyone within a 30 foot radius to hear.

Finally, Derek messaged back saying: Well… that was flattering. He claims that it was “cute” and “funny” and that I had nothing to worry about… But obviously I did worry about it. Not only did I humiliate myself, but I also completely reversed any thought in his mind that I wanted to keep things between us as “just friends”.

I know that it could have been worse. I could have insulted him, or given away even more mortifying comments before catching myself. But the point is, this happened. Gchat went rogue. And a week later, I’m terrified to take myself off of the “invisible” status.

Some day, I hope to rekindle the passion and vigor I had used with my favorite messaging system. But I believe our relationship needs to take a step back so we can re-evaluate things. Until then, it looks like I’ll have to do real life things during the day… like work.


Belle.

Advertisements

The Thing Ruining My 20s

1 May

Folks,

Over the weekend, I read the truest words anyone has written about what’s poisoning our postgrad years.

It’s not men. It’s not the economy. It’s not alcohol, unless you mean tequila, in which case yes it is literally poisoning you.

IT’S GCHAT.

You might have thought thus far that Gchat was a saving grace, keeping you sane during the workday. Actually, no. Read the article linked above. It’s not only making you less productive (shocker, I know) but it’s having a negative impact on those relationships you think you’re keeping afloat (to her credit, our own Stacie called this a long time ago).

How true is this?

While a concise instant message may seem to be an efficient way to touch base (without strains like rising from your swivel chair), the interaction can quickly turn trite or futile. “A lot of the stuff that happens on Gchat is not necessarily productive and wouldn’t be talked about in real life — it’s surface-level nonsense that’s getting in the way of why you’re in the office to begin with,” Bolt says. The more time you spend swapping complaints about your boss, links to the best video you’ve seen all year and — oh, right — questions about work, the harder it becomes to recover and produce.

And this:

Why ask Google when you can ask a friend? Gchat’s accessibility to smart people with whom we share personal relationships makes finding answers easy — or so we think. But often, typing a “quick q?” to a friend becomes more disruptive and distracting than digging for the answer yourself.

And start gchatting with a new love interest at your peril:

It happens all-too fast: You add your new beau on Gchat, and start chatting from nine-to-five. You debate over lunch spots, talk happy hour plans and vent about the pain of working for a tyrannical supervisor. The days fly by, at first, but the circular conversations can quickly feel confining and inadequate. This day-long chatting poses the illusion that you’ve shared moments and have been in touch, but those experiences are anything but quality.

Fuck that. I’d rather waste my workday blogging.

My Gchat Friendships

1 Oct

I am so greatful for Gchat. Seriously! I’d say that I am able to maintain 76.43% of my friendships because of it. Because for some reason, all we (girls) (straight, yuppie, 20-something women to be precise) ever talk about is BoYzzzzz !!!! OMG 😉 and for some reason, I HATE TALKING ABOUT BOYS**. In that “I hate it but I love it so I won’t stop” way that also applies to me watching Dance Moms.

My role model and path enlightener

Honestly, it is SO great that your ex wants to get coffee on Tuesday after your Monday date with the guy you met at Saint Ex (who by the way called you, not texted you because he’s THAT type of guy). And I am so glad your college ex wants to tell you he misses you. IT IS SO GREAT.

“That’s great”, “makes sense”, “how do you feel?”,  “yaaaay!”  are probably my most frequently used responses. It helps that I give the best damn dating advice in town duh, so that also means I am really supportive of your “dating” decisions. Really, I am stuffing my face with my SECOND bagel of the morning, which is always chocolate chip, and looking at cat gifs. Not because I am sad and lonely, and worried that I’ll die alone. Not at all.

So everyday, I spend at least two hours on boy talk, which consists of you telling me about how difficult it is to juggle so many men. Or how the guy from Friday who wasn’t just looking to hook up waited 3 (three!) days to call you and and wants to take you out on Saturday!!?!? Or how your ex-boyfriend misses your relationship. Or how that random DFMO (dance floor make out) happens to be a great, educated, liberal, respectful dude. Or how all of the men contact you ON THE SAME DAY??

FYI, the whole time I am also shoe shopping and dress shopping and purse shopping and basically shopping for anything but men (because, we are still unable do that!?!?) while occasionally throwing in a “how do you feel about it?” or “omg that’s so exciting!”. If you wanted insight into my friends’ dating lives, just look at my spending habits. Or the number of “cute animals” buzzfeed lists I have on my browser history.

Source

And then I try to talk about it with someone else because I can’t talk about it with you. About how jealous I am, and about how I don’t want to hear about it, and about how you’re just going to break up in a few months anyways! Except I can’t talk about it with someone else because that someone else obviously has her own issues to talk about.

At 5pm, I can finally close my computer, disconnect, leave the office and go to to happy hour to decompress and relax… where I will meet up with you. So I guess we’ll keep talking about it then?

**I obviously can’t talk enough about them when the boys are in relation to ME. Then understandably, we can talk about it for hours, and  I can be insecure, and scared, and excited and no one is allowed to hate it. Duh.