Tag Archives: dc weekend

Is sharking a shellfish?

6 Jun

I love to take care of people. Cooking, cleaning, holding hair back while vomiting, if it involves you needing something I can fulfill (yup, even that), I can most likely be convinced to do it. I’ve talked before about how I often succumb to being too responsible, and I’m back at it again!

One thing that is apparent in my current life is my unbelievable ability to cockblock myself. Yes, you read that correctly. I keep cockblocking myself via my friends, because I LOVE TO TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE. And I worry too much.

Are you so drunk that you may take the metro all the way to the end of the yellow line and then get stuck with a guy with long fingernails? Well then you just come home with me and we’ll eat some pizza, and I’ll tuck you safely into my couch. Do you need to go home because you can’t stop crying about your ex boyfriend from 7 years ago that just got engaged? No worries, we can go home at 12 and watch the latest episode of the Bachelorette even though I’ve already seen it 4 times. OMG you feel barfy? KK NEXT UBER ASAP, IDGAF THAT IT’S ONLY 8PM!

You get the point. I massively cockblocked myself last weekend which sent me spiraling into the reality that, okay, sometimes it’s really necessary that I make sure everybody get home okay (i.e. nobody should ride the metro all the way to the end of the yellow line because that’s scary), but what ever happened to shoving somebody into a cab and getting back to your conversation with that cute guy? WHY IS EVERYBODY ELSE CAPABLE OF DOING THIS BUT I AM NOT?

So, I’m turning a new leaf. It’s hookup season, I’m going to start being selfish and shoving you in a cab and out of my face, I’m jumping back on the shark, and y’all can’t stop me (unless I stop myself).

Here’s to a lot of fireball shots and bad decisions ladies and gents, catch ya on the flip side.

 

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