Archive by Author

In Which I Give Sephora a Ton of Free Marketing

7 Feb

My friends often ask about my makeup routine or what products I recommend. I’m no expert at makeup application, but I LOVE experimenting with products. My vanity looks like a Sephora store (the day I was presented with my brand new VIB card felt like the day Elle Woods got her VERSACE card). My favorite beauty blogger is by far Kate at the Small Things Blog, we have similar coloring, skin, and a distaste for a cakey or over the top looks.

First of all, my makeup obsession began because I look like this, but scary, without makeup:

I have been #blessed with very good skin. Sensitive and a bit dry at times, but overall, very very good. That being said, most drugstore makeup is not compatible with my skin, which is the SECOND reason for my makeup obsession. In fact, during a summer in DC, the drawer where I kept my makeup got jammed and I ran to CVS to pick up some basics. My face was bright red and blotchy and my eyes were itchy within minutes. I don’t mind spending the extra money on makeup because hi, it makes me more beautiful!

My everyday routine is very similar to my “going out” routine, except for nighttime I have a BAD bronzer addiction (irrational fear (not an actual fear) of looking pale) and a Naked Palette addiction.

Mosturizer: in the winter, I pack on the Clinique Moisture Surge immediately after taking my makeup off and washing my face. If it’s a while before I go to bed, I usually then put on Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion, which I also use in the morning. In the summer, I switch to Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel.

*I know there is a 3-step program in which the gel and lotion are used together or something, but….

Tinted moisturizer: I adore this NARS product, ESPECIALLY the color and coverage, but unfortunately, it was drying out my skin! I switched to Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer Broad Spectrum SPF 20, but wasn’t loving the lack of coverage. Now, I use a good dollop of LM, and add a little NARS to the mix, and I HAVE A PERFECT COLOR AND BASE LAYER (clearly I’m thrilled).

Primer and Foundation: I didn’t use primer, or really foundation, until very very recently. I switched my routine actually from ONLY foundation, to tinted moisturizer right to pressed powder, to include the T M, primer, foundation, and then pressed powder. Anyway. Primer and Foundation! Estee Lauder Double Wear is an absolute LIFESAVER. I bought the limited edition kit complete with primer, concealer, and brush. I like that it was all smaller than the full-sized, so I could try it out. I’m SOLD! I’ll be re-purchasing all (except concealer) in full-sized once I run out. It goes on smooth, and somewhat sheer, it’s not cakey, and it blends beautifully.

Powder: I used to use Bare Minerals Loose Powder, but Sephora was out on a recent re-stocking trip, so I switched to the Bare Minerals Pressed Powder and again, I’m in love! Bare Minerals lasts FOREVER. I think it had been almost a year since I needed to restock.

Bronzer: Benefit Hoola is probably my best friend in the entire world. A few years ago Benefit made the packaging smaller and upped the price, but I quickly forgave them.

Eyeliner: For my blue eyes, Sephora Nano in Blue Jean is striking. It’s a blue-grey that slides on beautifully. Caveat: it does not last long, and is often sold out. I buy in multiples when I find it available in store. I also own a few other colors and have no complaints. You can’t beat the formula for the price.

Mascara: I’ve been loyal to Benefit “They’re Real” the last year or so, but I’m still not sold on it. I’m convinced that my eyelashes change what works on them in the same manner hair does. Also, I’m OBSESSED with mascara. I’ve been known to use 3 or 4 different mascaras to achieve one look. My all-time favorite mascara is Bourjois Liner Effect Mascara that I thought was no longer sold in the US until right this very moment and I’m purchasing it NOW. I also like Bare Minerals Flawless Definition Mascara and Dior Iconic Mascara.

Eyeshadow: Any of the three Urban Decay Naked Palettes will be your friend. You don’t NEED to own all three, but if you do, I will not judge you, and I will be jealous of you. I’m still waiting on lucky #3 (hi mama! my birthday’s coming up!)

Other favorite products:

All of my brushes are Sephora brand. I’m on my second set, and I take fantastic care of them with Sephora Purifying Brush Shampoo. I used Latisse all through college, and I really need to get a refill. It was amazing and truly made my lashes LUSCIOUS. Sephora brand Eyelash curler is perfect. I usually swipe it clean with makeup remover once a week to avoid leftover mascara buildup.

I’m still trying to get the hang of contouring…a la Kimmy… and once I perfect it, expect a post to come!

I have a ton more I could write, but if you’re still reading at this point, congratulations, it’s PROBABLY 2015!



It’s Goin’ Down, Just Got a Tinder!

31 Jan

Lies, I’ve had tinder forever.  Also SR’s interpretation of our blackout song de jour, Timber.

Today, I’ve got literally nothing for ya.

Here is a hilarious video about 2 of my favorite things: Tinder and Disney Princesses.

Enjoy! xx

Crimes Against Humanity

24 Jan

*please take this with a grain of salt, my loves. these are merely suggestions based on what i feel appeals to humans’ eyeballs. i’m all about making people feel good and helping others, you know?

Have you ever been personally offended by an outfit?

I have.

And let me tell you, it sure doesn’t feel great. Last weekend, I saw so. many. crimes against fashion, I was forced to do something drastic: call Joan Rivers write a blog post about it.

Ladies and gentlemen of DC, why? WHY? Most of us are gainfully employed by people who care very much about their image (if you claim you don’t, somebody’s lying to you honey). Not to mention, most of us are always on the lookout for potential power moves. Ahem, Betty’s post yesterday? All of that being said, why do some of us dress in the most unflattering, terrifying clothing?!

Dressing well is, contrary to popular belief, not always expensive. One of my favorite places to shop is Target (pronounced Tar-jay, a French couture fashion house, obvs). A few weeks ago at Nordstrom Rack I snagged a $648 blazer for $19.99. Yes. A penny less than TWENTY DOLLARS. 97% off. See?

Please allow me to share some of the horrifying things I saw last weekend.

Flared jeans with converse at a party on a girl my age. And I’m not talking Kourtney Kardashian bell bottomed, wide legged jeans, I’m talking the things of Abercrombie & Fitch circa 2004. Homegirl could have so pulled off her converse with a slightly less sugary sweet attitude, a completely different non-Loft shirt (don’t get me wrong, I love Loft, but her peplum didn’t work here), and skinny jeans. Throw on a casual white blouse, skinny jeans, and a studded necklace with your converse?! YES PLEASE!

Fishnet stockings and a too-short, neon, skin tight skirt with motorcycle boots on a 30+ year old. Honey. HONEY. That may look good on your college aged sister, and I’m not saying it looked TERRIBLE on you, because your body definitely can wear a form fitting skirt. Remember that rule from high school where your skirt had to touch your fingertips? Apply that, plus a few inches after college, ESPECIALLY after 30. The boots cut her off in a very unflattering spot. I’m just saying, she had better options and could have looked HOT.

Remember this picture?

I saw way too many girls wearing the same color nude leggings this weekend. They will never look good on anybody. I understand they are popular. They do not look okay. Thank you.

Now, some are opposed to leggings as pants. I am generally not one of those people. Personally, on me, I prefer my Joes jeans legging resembling pants with zipper and pockets, but on some girls, leggings as pants do look good! That being said, don’t push it. Your leggings should not be able to multitask as tights or to go running. (exceptions: bumming around with your girlfriends, a gross grungy hungover brunch). Parties and bars? Pass on the cropped yoga leggings with boots that barely reach, PLEASE.

I’d probably let Belle wear these.

Boys. Boys, boys, boys. Just a few comments for you.

1. Pull your pants up. Is it the 90’s? Is MC Hammer your close personal friend? What about Justin Bieber? No? Then pull them up. If I want to see your underwear, you will know.

2. What do you need all those pockets in your cargo shorts for? Are you building a house after you go to the bar? Aside from the unnecessary space, they are just simply not flattering, and they are very very casual. Please wear them to do yardwork, that is fine. Back away from me at St. Ex if you are wearing them.

3. Sometimes, sneakers at a bar are okay. Most times are not sometimes.

4. The truest crime of the weekend I saw were CARGO JEANS. On a non-European male. I was not okay. I needed my childhood inhaler. And I just don’t know that I’ll ever be able to trust a man ever again.

5. Sometimes men in DC dress phenomenally. Button ups and khakis, I’m lookin’ at y’all.

In sum, dress for your body type, dress for your personality (it’s okay to venture out sometimes! but make sure it still LOOKS GOOD), dress in what makes you COMFORTABLE and CONFIDENT. Don’t show your underwear, and don’t have too many pockets.

Teach Me How To Tinder

17 Jan

It’s no secret that Tinder is part of the postgrad in DC’s plan to #getlaid after a dry spell. Almost everybody I know has a fantastic Tinder tale to tell.

even mindy does it!

I’m not here to tell a Tinder tale today, no, but I am here to share a fantastic blog (again) called “How to Lose a Guy in One Tinder”. It’s as hilarious as it sounds.

The Many Stages Of Drunk Texting

My personal favorite (trust me, it’s hard to choose just one) is a line Em gives about wanting to date a Jets fan because her dad is a Pats fan and she “really likes conflict.” BSCB warning lights for 1,000 Alex?! Much like our favorite Goldie Hawn Kate Hudson movie, NOTHING detours these guys from [attempting to] going for the gold.

And it. is. hilarious. I may or may not have read nearly every page at work the other day….Happy Friday! Enjoy!


New Year, New Blog

10 Jan

I’ve had a long time blog crush on Carly over at The College Prepster, and another favorite is one of her besties, Mackenzie (p.s. Mackenzie’s online boutique, Design Darling, is TO DIE, I’ve been trying to justify monogrammed acrylic trays in every color for every season but hey, DC paycheck).

Both Mackenzie and Carly have offered me serious inspiration over the years. College, transitioning to “The Real World”, working, moving to a new city, clothes, boys, owning a puppy, and everything in between. So, although Carly and Mackenzie will ALWAYS have my heart on those topics, I made some New Years Resolutions, and thus begins, my newest life inspiration:

Meet Catherine of “Rabbit Food For My Bunny Teeth”


OH. MY. GOD. Oh my god. omigod. I am OBSESSED with this blog.

Belle and I have been determined to kick the DC 15 and get healthier in general. I’ve always been good about including plenty of fruits and veggies in my diet, but as of late I’ve been really failing. Ugh. So anyway. I was conducting research about cleanses and/or clean eating and stumbled upon RFFMBT.

Seriously? Catherine is amazing. SO inspirational and incredibly realistic. Do you want to know when I discovered Catherine’s blog? Last Saturday. Do you know the last time I ate anything processed aside from cottage cheese/greek yogurt/almond milk/a small portion of mozzarella cheese last night? Last Friday. Do you know how I feel?


absofreakinglutely incredible.

I’ve been eating perfectly proportioned egg whites, quinoa, veggies, fruits, steel cut oats, and they are DELICIOUS. Best of all? I feel FULL. I’ve tried out a bunch of her recipes, and invented a few of my own. I’m putting chia in pretty much everything.

for real this is probably growing in my stomach

I’ve had a HORRIFIC week at work that’s included nearly 12 hour days, working last weekend, and just not a fantastic situation and you know what? I’ve handled it so. well. I have plenty of energy, I’m not distracted, I haven’t been getting the post-lunch drag, and I’m still working out in the mornings and coming home EXCITED to cook myself a healthy meal. Leaving my problems behind at work (or in my laptop when I finally shut it) has never been easier.

I’m telling you guys, this is not just a resolution. I’m making a #change (says every resolutionist on January 10th), and it’s all thanks to Catherine. We’ve all seen the commercials and read the blogs of “miraculous” diets, but Catherine’s story is just so REAL. Stay tuned for progress and updates, I’m truly feeling so wonderful that I can’t imagine going back to eating Chipotle twice a week and dining out with my co-workers every day. I encourage you all to go visit Catherine for some inspiration, be it health related or just in life, she seems like an absolute doll.

In other news, hi it’s a new year and I’m ever so thankful for my amazing friends and I’m trying to do a better job of showing it this year. Belle is a real sweetheart and is hosting all of us for dinner on Saturday. Now, Belle has a couple favorite foods, and Catherine happens to have a great recipe for one of them. I made it tonight and I can’t WAIT to give it to her!!

Anybody have good resolutions that they’re hoping to finally stick to this year? Any other great “clean” lifestyle blogs to share with me?



Queen Bey and Wannabeys

20 Dec

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past 7 days, you know at least two things:

1) Beyonce gave us all an early Christmas present, not to mention set yet another precedent for other artists to live up to (LOL), with her surprise iTunes only visual album.

2) Bey played the Verizon Center for the third time this year (I shamelessly went to dinner and a movie at Gallery Place on Wednesday because I’m a masochist and I wanted to see if I could score some last minute tix for cheap, I also called 95.5 like, 900 times trying to win tickets).

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013

my queen.

So, as a worshipper at the Bey throne, how do I love Beyonce, the album, by Beyonce, the Queen? Let me count the ways.

ps can Beyonce gifs animate my life please?

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013

This whole album makes even the most subdued, lazy, boring human want to do several things:  get DOWN. AND. DIRTY in bed, dance with your best friends, dance in the shower, take a spin class (WHO KNEW SUCH A DESIRE WAS POSSIBLE?) dance in your underwear around your apartment, basically do anything ever. I felt all the feelings after my first listen.

Grown Woman has been one of my favorite songs for the past 6 days  months, it’s a serious empowering chick anthem. I’m actually really sad that Bey changed some of the lyrics. The previous version included this gem which makes me, again, feel all the feelings (mostly, ALIVE):

“I’m a grown woman/so I know how to ride it/I’m a grown woman and I’m so erotic/I’m a grown woman/look down gotcha so excited/I’m a grown woman/look at my body.”

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013


Glamour named “The Sexiest Lyrics from Beyonce’s New Album”, and they pretty much nailed it.  Both “Partition” and “Blow” had me crawling out of my god damn skin, and “Partition” included a zinger of a Monica Lewinsky line, which I’m always a fan of. If you’re ever feeling not in the mood (again, LOL), just take a listen and I promise you, you’ll be good to go in t minus five minutes, especially if you add in a glass or seven of wine (I may be talking about myself on Saturday night…). Please trust me when I tell you this Beyonce obsession is one your boyfriend/brofriend will fully support if you act even one ounce like Bey does in any of the aforementioned songs.

“When you lick my skittles/it’s sweetest in the middle”

lanactrlaltdelrey:JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

***Flawless is another one of my favorites, it makes me want to conquer the world in a matter of seconds. It’s hard for me to put into words the feels that Bey makes me feel during ***Flawless. It’s another anthem complete with encouraging words from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie where they instruct us to take no shit, to be all that we can be, and to fuck the haters. #girlpower

“Bow down bitches/…./Momma taught me good home training/My Daddy taught me how to love my haters/My sister taught me I should speak my mind/My man made me feel so God damn fine”

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013

A few more quick notes:

1) Blue Ivy is old enough to speak? Okay.

2) Saying “Le Sex” in a french accent is my new thing.

3) Superpower is not my favorite, but it’s still FINE.

4) Despite my sadness over the changed “Grown Woman” lyrics, it’s still my alarm every morning (bye).

From “Blue” to “XO” to “Partition” to “Grown Woman”, Beyonce is so much more than just music, it’s Beyonce’s textbook to life. Bey is proof that we really can have it all, she’s an intelligent, hard working mother and wife, a superstar, and, an apparent dominatrix.

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013

If Congress was Animal House

6 Dec

Imagine Congress as the fraternities at Faber College…

“I pledge allegiance, to the Frat…”

Dean Wormer is Harry Reid, and the brown nosing Omega President Greg Marmalard is Nancy Pelosi. You think “Double Secret Probation” is rough? Try going nuclear on the underdogs.

It’s quite obvious that Ted Cruz is Bluto, as his horrific performances give Delta a bad name, and John McCain is Otter, the disapproving elite who was almost the leader. But, when it comes down to it they’re #brothers working for the same cause.

NBD, just Bluto being destructive

“You can’t hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals” – John McCain Otter

John Boehner is Robert Hoover, the Delta president, often complacent, trying to please the Dean, while keeping up appearances, face time, and shenanigans with his #bros. He gets the support he needs where he needs it, and when he needs it.

Last but not least, I know he’s not in Congress but…. can we call Chris Christie Flounder? He’s the lovable (HA) “new” guy who gets along with everybody! 

We can all learn from Flounder!

113th Congress?

Who would you name as Deltas, Omegas, or other Faber characters? I’ll add the best submissions!


29 Nov

Hope everybody had a great national hangover day Thanksgiving! I am not a fan of Turkey, so I’m first and foremost thankful to be a Daddy’s girl because we had chicken at our house instead.

Anyway, I saw the list below (in photo form) on my Facebook news feed and it inspired me to do some thinking. Sure we’re all thankful for the usual things: friends, family, a job, etc., but what about the pesky things in our life? I first thought about this during the government shutdown, I occasionally heard comments about how a government shutdown in other countries throughout the world is an everyday part of life, where there is no stable government. Yes I know, I’m comparing apples and oranges with the US vs. Syria, but still something to think about!

Hope you enjoy the list! You’ll finish and say “OMG #SOTRUE”.


I am thankful for…

The clothes I fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat.

My shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

A lawn that has to be mowed, windows that need to be washed and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.

The spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

All of the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.

The lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear.

The huge piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby.

The alarm that goes off at 6 am because it means I’m alive.


Love knows no limits

15 Nov

So, confession. I spend hundreds of dollars a month on Uber (since cutting back on the social schedule, this bill has also cut back, MUCH needed relief to my overprotective father’s wallet). Uber is my weakness, and the most stable, reliable relationship in my life currently. I can be in DuPont at 8am, or H Street at 3am, and still, always, without fail, Uber is there to whisk me away.

Not only is the whole process a serious breeze, especially in taxi-problem-ridden DC, you get to ROLL UP IN A BLACK CAR OR SUV. In a town where you never know who is on the other side of those tinted windows, you better believe I act important when I go LITERALLY anywhere in an Uber. (ugh, #ThisTown)

i have ARRIVED

Uber has gotten me out of some pretty sticky (literally) situations, hence the stability of our relationship. Allow me to outline the five best, or worst, moments of our relationship:

5.) The time I spilled a Hurricane on myself

After a particular rowdy night at Little Miss Whiskey’s, I thought it was a good idea to bring my unfinished Hurricane along for my journey home in my purse, the same purse that suffered a horrible fate a few weeks later. Obviously, I was wearing 4 inch wedges and ate shit on H street en route to my Uber, and obviously, the full Hurricane half in my purse half in my hand covered my whole body in a sticky slushy mess. Even still, my Uber driver accepted me with love and clorox wipes to rinse off.

4.) The time I hooked up in the back

Self-explanatory, I was very drunk (duh), and our “two stops” quickly turned to just one. (It was a VERY PG hookup, don’t go thinking I’m that kind of girl)

3.) The time I was stranded at National Harbor

I found myself at The Gaylord during CPAC (honestly, I don’t even know how I got there, but I was with a gaggle of Republicans, clearly I was fine), and then suddenly found myself at 4am VERY READY TO GO HOME, TO VERY NW DC. Uber? PICKED ME UP WITHIN 10 MINUTES, AND 87 DOLLARS LATER I WAS IN BED.

2.) The time I threw up in a $300 purse

I was on a long journey home from H street (I’m sensing a pattern here), it was 90 degrees outside, it was a jerky car ride, I had way too much vodka/gin/wine/fireball/beer etc, and it just happened. I vaguely remember being half asleep, as I often am, and as a fairly regular drunk vomit-er, I knew I had approximately 30 seconds before shit got real. I looked around for a bag, a water bottle, ANYTHING to avoid the $300+ cleaning charge for getting sick in an Uber. I was a girl scout, I knew how to be resourceful, so I used my $300 Tory Burch purse as a trash receptacle until the driver realized what was happening and pulled over. Bless his heart, he didn’t kick me out, and he even tried to help me clean up (I have some pride, I CLEARLY refused). Looking back, it would have PROBABLY made more sense to throw up in the car, as I’m now out my favorite purse.


TRAGIC HORRIBLE THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. I had a beautiful, perfect burrito from SR’s beloved Sol, and I was headed home from a long night on H street. Again, I was half asleep in the back seat when we pulled up to my house. I hopped out and headed into my kitchen, only to realize……I LEFT MY UNTOUCHED VIRGIN BURRITO IN THE BACKSEAT. I think I cried before curling up, truly alone, in my bed.

So you see, DC, nobody will ever replace my one true love, Uber. SOMEHOW, it’s honestly so unclear how, I was recently informed, my Uber rating is 4.7/5. THEY LOVE ME RIGHT BACK. Uber has been there for me so many times before, and I know they will be there for me again tonight, tomorrow morning, tomorrow night, Sunday morning, and beyond. If you haven’t tried them yet….. never read this blog again try it out, and let me know how it goes. Everybody has at least ONE good Uber story, my life just happens to be one hot mess after another.

PS: Missed connection moment: mystery Uber driver who was lucky enough to eat my burrito, please buy me a new one, it’s been months and I’m still not over it.

The 10 Best Places to see Fall in DC

8 Nov

I am so in love with this city right now. I have been toting a latte and happily strolling around various neighborhoods happy as a clam. When September hit, I was feeling super homesick for the midwest, specifically my alma mater and my hometown, but once mid October rolled around, I found myself constantly awestruck at the beauty that is #ThisTown. Everything looks so much more delicate and quaint covered in orange, red, and gold. And the sunsets this week?! Seriously?! Am I living in a painting?

Some of my favorite Fall activities have included an early (for a Sunday) breakfast at Le Diplomate, then a stroll down Q street to the Dupont FRESHFARM Market, a visit to the Cathedral, a walk through Chevy Chase to admire the hot dads beautiful homes, and several trips to Georgetown’s campus. Honestly, it was hard to choose my favorite 10 spots to instagram visit, everywhere is breathtaking and I’m dreading the impending biting, bitter cold.


*please note, apparently Fall makes me want to go for “strolls” (nice change from the trolling I did all summer), SORRY. I’m a woman in love, what can I say?

10.) Overlooking the Tidal Basin



9.) Logan Circle

my own picture, budding career as a photog maybs?

8.) Chevy Chase


7.) Mount Vernon



6.) The White House



5.) National Cathedral


4.) Rock Creek Park


3.) Capitol Hill/Eastern Market


2.) Lawn of the Capitol


1.) Georgetown


*Honorable mention, which should be #1, but it’s a hike from DC: Charlottesville, Virginia. The drive there, Thomas Jefferson’s home Monticello, and The University of Virginia are among the most beautiful places I’ve been in my life this time of year! Evidence below: