Archive | May, 2014

In which Tinder drains all of my data in a single weekend

28 May

Tinder is like a can of Pringles… once you pop, the fun don’t stop.

While on our girls getaway this past weekend, someone had the brilliant idea to download SR’s new favorite app. Although it is something I typically would not do in DC for fear of accidentally stumbling upon a co-worker or someone else I knew, Myrtle Beach was an entirely different ballgame. Not only was there no pressure to actually meet any of these bros, but we had ample opportunity to troll the crap out of them. Which is precisely what we did.

(Please note that all of these Tinder screenshots actually did occur this weekend…)

Not only did our Tinder-Endeavors provide hours of hilarious story sharing amongst ourselves, but it also showed us the best and worst of men’s attempts to talk to (or hook up with) a girl online.

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There are many types of people that join something like Tinder. I’d say half of them are looking for a random hookup.

 

Another quarter are actually looking for a casual date true love.

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And the final quarter are being trolls and seeing just how interesting the conversation can get (HELLO, that might be me).

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Bojangles seemed to be a theme for where we “invited” our men to meet up.

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I guess it all depends on what you’re looking for. Personally, I’m looking for entertainment. And luckily, there are plenty of men on Tinder willing to provide just that.

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One of our most interesting revelations is that it takes a good deal of skill to be good at Tinder. You can have a gorgeous #selfie of yourself wearing an American flag bathing suit in front of the Eiffel tower (actually spotted) and yet be unable to carry on little more than a sub-par conversation. In my (granted limited) experience, it’s highly unlikely that your Tinder match, even the ones that are just looking to get some, will want to stick around for more than 10 minutes when you can’t put basic sentences together.

As long as you make it past the initial “swipe”, being clever and ironic are just as essential to your online lover as the ability to flex your biceps. And I thoroughly enjoy a man who can outsmart me – or can at least take a joke and keep up!

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Overall, my Tinder weekend has been an enlightening experience. I have considered putting myself on hiatus while back in DC, but I guarantee that whether it’s Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, or whatever the next big dating app is, the SR ladies will cover it for you. Worst case scenario, this happens?

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We know you’ve got your own stories, and we desperately want to laugh at them with you. So send them to us on twitter @StopRequestedDC or in the comments below!

XO,

Belle

 

5 Ways Finding a Job and Finding a Man Are the Same Damn Struggle

22 May

This week, my dream job was posted online and I. Have. To. Get. It. I’ve spent the last 48 hours freaking out to all of the SR ladies and basically anyone who will listen. In an especially inspiring Gchat with Anne (thanks babe), she gave me the motivation I need. “Go for it,” Anne encouraged me. “Shark that job like you’d shark a guy at a bar.”

It got me thinking: finding a job is actually exactly like finding a man. How, you ask?

5. “I don’t want to come off as desperate” is not a thing. If you find yourself saying this, GTFO.

no really

This is a lesson I learned from job searching that I then realized applies to dating. Most of the people around me who have gotten jobs that I think were awesome and/or wish I had have done it by, quite honestly, being pathetic. You have to be honest with people about the fact that you’re looking for a job and you need their help — and a paycheck. This is not dissimilar to being single and having trouble approaching a new guy, or having trouble opening up to someone. It’s hard to show vulnerability but the alternative is waiting for things to happen to you and waiting forever because you never told anyone that you wanted those things to happen.

4. Connections matter. New boi’s roommates like you? A former supervisor is willing to drop the possible new boss a note saying how great you are? You’d be shocked how much it helps. Life is not a meritocracy. You’re IN. 

AKA, if you wanna be his lover, you gotta get with his friends.

Except don’t confuse the metaphors and get with your boss’ friends.

3. You won’t find the best ones online. Ok, ok, this isn’t quite true. (Actually, the SR ladies are stepping up their online dating game this week and although I’m a little skeptical, I’m rapidly dropping my old-school aversion to the idea.) In fact, while in the workplace you put yourself out there by getting offline (i.e. talking to people and networking and other scary things), in the dating world putting yourself out there involves getting online.

But where the similarities remain is that only looking online – for a job or for a man – does allow you to pre-select based only on what you already know. And that may mean that you allow yourself to close your mind to other options. Maybe you never thought you’d work in finance – just like you never thought you’d date an Asian guy.

2. You’re almost always more qualified than you think. Whether it’s not applying because you don’t meet all the stated qualifications or not going up to a guy at a bar because you think he’s too hot to talk to you, STOP. We ladies tend to underestimate ourselves but I promise, you’re way more awesome than you think you are…

1…..but sometimes, you might have to accept that you’re just not a good fit

My World of Lighter Packing

21 May

In college, I would show up for a weekend away with little more than an overnight bag and my purse. My friends would gape at me and wonder how the hell I was going to make it through the weekend with so little “stuff”. It’s easy, people. REALLY easy. Packing 17 outfits for a 5 day trip, including two practically identical pairs of brown heeled wedges is idiotic on so many levels. Why do we girls, in particular, do this to ourselves? Why pay for checked luggage when we can fit everything into the overhead bin?

Over the past 20-plus years, I have perfected the art of packing. I believe this comes from decades of camping with my family, weekends visiting my dad, and of course that little stint abroad – including the time I spent 10 days in Italy with only an over-the-shoulder bag (which also carted 10kg of parmigiano cheese). It’s officially down to a science.

In just 24 hours, 4 of my favorite ladies and I will be heading down to Myrtle Beach for a long Memorial Day weekend of celebrating our nation’s finest by saluting them with tequila sunrises. We’ll be gone for 4 full days, and are cramming ourselves and our stuff into a little toyota camry. Our bags, which need to be kept to a minimum, will contain bathing suits, bar attire, warm clothes, something to sleep in, and “normal clothes” to wear during the day. Not to mention hair supplies and makeup! That’s a lot to fit into a carry-on sized bag. So we must be prepared. Not all trips are created equal – obviously a trip to the beach is a little different than a trip to the mountains. But for this standard Beach weekend, here are my staples.

 

The Duffel Bag:
There are literally thousands of options to choose from. Whether you keep recycling your old Vera, switch to a sturdy yet stylish L.L.Bean or Northface, or simply grab one from Walmart, a medium sized duffel bag is integral. Backpacks are my second choice. I find them to be much more efficient for trips where you need to take your stuff with you at all times (i.e. a European adventure!). But for our purposes, a duffel gives me more space, and the ability to simply toss it from the car to our rooms.

Swim Stuff:
A bathing suit takes up basically no room in a bag (also, hi let’s discuss how cute ModCloth’s suits are). Same goes for a coverup. But the towel is a traitor. There is literally no reason to bring more than one. Never. If it gets wet, wash it (or just don’t). You are likely staying at either a hotel or a friend/relative’s house which means you don’t need a second one for showers – there are always extras…

Comfort Clothing:
These will be used in multiple ways. A pair of thick black capri leggings, long/short sleeved t-shirt, and a hoodie provide a magical combination for traveling women of all shapes and sizes. You can wear them on the car/plane/whatever both to and from your destination. They are also perfectly acceptable sleepwear. And there is certainly no shame in wearing them around the house or in the evening on the beach when you and your ladies are just downing one bottle of wine after another watching the waves come in.

Day-to-Day Attire:
You’re at the beach, so let’s be honest… I don’t need much of this. I’ll be basking in my suit under the UV rays til the cows come home. But just in case I do need something to wear between the beach and the bars, here is what is going into my own bag:
1 pair of black shorts
1 grey maxi-dress (or substitute for a maxi-skirt)
1 colorful loose-hanging top
1 solid-colored tank or blouse
Choosing individual articles of clothing that can match with more than one other option will double your outfits. Besides, you’ll likely be wearing them for less than 4 hours each day. It’s not like you’re getting them dirty.

In-Da-Club:
Friday and Saturday nights in a warm environment are not difficult to prepare for. I feel like describing the clothes you should bring for a night out is ridiculous. We all know what we like to wear when we go to the bars. My personal preference (and plan) is as follows.
Night One – A Fun black sundress with a red belt
Night Two – A bandage skirt and bright top

Shoes:
You need a total of three pairs of shoes for all of the above outfits. One of each. That is all.
1. Sandals – These will be paired with your comfy clothes and swimwear
2. Flats – Choose your color wisely, because these should be able to match both your casual clothes and possibly your bar outfit
3. Heels (optional) – If you’re feeling bold. But if you can already tell they’ll be staying in your bag, do yourself a favor and leave them behind and go for a sparkly pair of flats
There is seriously zero reason to bring another type of shoe.

Note: For those of you who think you need to pack exercise clothing and tennis shoes on this trip, I laugh in your face. You’re on vacation. Just stop. You will not be invited to my beach house.

Misc:
Make up, shampoo, shaving stuff, hair dryer, straightener sunscreen… If you’re going in a group, which is generally the case, it is completely unnecessary for each individual to bring their own version of the previously stated items. Bring your own razor and makeup, and then divvy up the rest. 2 hair dryers and straighteners, one bottle of shampoo/conditioner, and one bottle of sunscreen can easily be split between a group of 5. Sharing is Caring, ladies. (PS, for Sunscreen, no matter what your skin type, you don’t need more than 30 spf.)

Oh Em Gee Look at all this extra room I have! Now what do I do??:
Here is your chance to add in an extra shirt, or a jean jacket to complete an outfit. (Note, I’m not saying this is absolutely necessary…) I guarantee your bag is lighter and happier, so there’s so much more room for activities!! (This is also known as shopping.)

Welcome to my world of light packing. I hate sifting through mountains of clothing when I’m on a trip. And I love having extra room so I can bring more stuff home with me! The key points to remember here are to be prepared. Try all your clothes on before you pack them, and come up with your actual outfits. Pick clothes that mix and match well. And don’t forget that you’re with your girlfriends… SHARE YOUR STUFF! Feels like college…

Belle

Anne’s Signature Travel Look

16 May

I’ve been traveling A LOT lately. Planes, trains, and automobiles. Every Friday, I’ve found myself throwing on the same outfit in preparation for my post-work, weekend adventures.

The Lilly Pulitzer Travel Pant (hello perfectly named) has been an absolute godsend. They transition beautifully from work to a long evening of travel. They’re made to look like nicer pants, but feel like leggings. I’ve gotten so many compliments on them I would wear them every day of the week if I didn’t think anybody would notice.

 

In my more casual office, I’ve been pairing with an old chambray popover, but this J Crew Linen Popover would also do the trick in a more casual environment.

Linen popover in stripe

 

More business casual, formal office? Tuck in this silk top instead.

As for shoes, I’ve been wearing my signature, beloved, and unfortunately discontinued Cece Flats, or Reva Flats (some styles currently ON SALE!).

Cece leather ballet flats

 

This outfit is seriously so comfortable, but does not sacrifice style or class. Especially in DC, you never know who you’re going to run into at the airport, on the metro, running through Union Station, or even as your seatmate.

Tomorrow, I’ll be changing up my go-to ever so slightly, as I’m leaving at 7am Saturday, instead of 7pm Friday, to a tropical locale (okay it’s not that tropical, it’s still in the lower 48), and I have BIG, LATE NIGHT PLANS for tonight. I’ll want to look good while being extra comfy and not worrying about wrinkles. So, I’ll be throwing on my travel pants with a couple changes…

Introducing my new favorite wardrobe staple: The Lilly Pulitzer Skipper Popover

 

UM. Hello perfection. If prints aren’t your thing (leave), they have a solid option as well. Again, I’ll still look like I didn’t roll out of bed, but I’ll be even more supremely comfy on my early AM jaunt south.

To complete this look, I’m going to wear the shoes I’ll be wearing for most of vacation: My  trusty ole’ Jack Rogers

Eep! I’m so excited to jet off tomorrow morning for a quick vacation.

What are your go to travel outfits? My officemates MAY be getting a little sick of my weekly repeat…

The 17 Steps of Online Dating in GIFs

13 May

by Stacie Smack

1. You hear a great success story from a friend of a friend.

2. You decide, if she can do it, so can you!

3. Realize there are approximately 5,000,000 different sites…

4. Pick OkCupid.

5. Face the “blank slate” that you’re expected to fill in with a quirky, yet honest, yet funny, yet with a hint of I’m-looking-for-love tone.

6. Give up.

7. Choose Tinder.

8. Spend the next five hours at work swiping until you realized you forgot to eat lunch.

9.Exchange some texts with a cute guy with a paycheck until you learn that he lives in Baltimore.

10. Get matched with your supervisor, Jim.

11. Give up.

12. Join Coffee Meets Bagel.

13. Find it equally as stressful to summarize yourself in 3 bullet points.

14. Get SUPER excited at 11:55 about your upcoming “bagel” person!

15. Get awful matches for the next two weeks.

16. Go on  a terrible date with a guy you met in one of the 14 platforms you’re now on.

17. Meet your girlfriends at the Brixton after, take fireball shots, and meet a cute guy.

18. End up dating the guy for 5 months.

Break up, Rinse, Repeat.

So… This is a Date?

7 May

I went on a date last night. Except I didn’t realize it was going to be a date.

A friend of mine (*note, Friend) just came back from being out of the country for a year for work. I only knew him briefly before he left, as I had just moved to DC myself. While he was gone, we talked via email and facebook every once in a while and, considering how little time we physically spent together, know quite a bit about the other person now.

Although I always suspected maybe a little bit more than friendship coming from his end, I figured it wasn’t a big deal. It is certainly not uncommon for a guy to have brief moments of “more-than-friendship” feelings towards a girl friend. The solution to this predicament, I’ve found, is being more careful. You don’t want to be considered a “tease” by leading anyone on, but sometimes it’s difficult defining the difference between flirting, and just being friendly. Call it a personality flaw…

But this makes me really mad. I hate worrying that I smile too much around a guy friend, or I touch his arm inappropriately, or I crack one too many jokes in his presence… That’s not me trying to get into my his pants… that’s just me hanging out and having a good time! And I hate feeling like I have to tone-down my normal reactions just because I’m around someone with a penis, just so he doesn’t get the wrong idea.

I unknowingly went on a date last night. “Derek” is a great kid. He’s sweet, intelligent, cute, has a great job, and I actually enjoy talking to him. Although I realize those are the defining features of a guy who I actually would like to date, he is my friend. And I’m still hung up on my ex. And have zero goals in life to start a new relationship which will only end up destroying a friendship.

Derek asked if I wanted to grab dinner at some sushi place. DUH. Of course I want to. I want to hear about his trip and gorge myself in rice and raw fish. But how does that constitute a date? However, he insisted on paying (even when I tried giving the waitress my card) and word-dropped “date” twice during dinner. This was the look I gave each time:

We then watched a really horrible movie at his apartment and chatted about all the cool things he did abroad… I made sure to keep my distance on the couch, and never insinuated that there would be any form of touching during said movie, or after. And yet, he still said the word “Date”. I felt conflicted the entire night. Although I was having a genuinely good time with him, I had to cautiously make sure I was not giving him any reason to think that I wanted anything more to come from that evening…

I don’t know where we stand at this moment. It’s quite a pickle. I mentioned to him, more than once, that I “don’t date”, but who knows where that actually landed in his mind. I just feel like I’m stuck right now. I don’t want to have to over-think texting him asking if he wants to join me and my friends for happy hour…

Why can’t girls and guys just be friends? Is that really so difficult? Is it even possible? There’s an interesting video here that shows how most girls think they can have guy friends, but guys can’t. Is that true? Do I have to re-analyze every current male friend that I have…

I don’t think it’s fair.

Belle.

I’ll Never be Able to Quit You

6 May

by Stacie Smack

It was Saturday night (or I suppose, Sunday morning) and I was having a blast and on my way home with the man I’ve decided I like enough to continue dating. And then Chuck Bass texted. This is an unedited transcript, with some author’s notes.

CB: Where are you this fine evening?

… It’s been weeks. Weeks since you made me feel like a complete idiot after I threw myself at you and you let me get in a cab. I ignored it. And then.

CB: So. what, do you only respond to my daytime texts?

SS: From you, yes.

CB: Would it be juvenile to point out that it’s already dark, so I tricked you? I want to see you before I go

Yes Chuck, it is juvenile.

SS: Where are you off to this time?

CB: London, various other European locales, and Abu Dhabi*. Will you be around this coming weekend?

SS: How fun! Work or pleasure or both? And I’m not around…

CB: Both is always my MO. Fine then I’ll catch up to you the week after. Between you and me, I’m actually moving to Abu Dhabi. I won’t be coming back from this trip…

SS: Congratulations! You had mentioned that that was your goal! Are you so pumped? And we can definitely catch up. Just know you’re not getting any special sendoff. Unfortunately, I’m not in a position to do that.

That was my attempt at being supportive, friendly, and saying, look I’m dating someone exclusively and if I don’t tell you, I won’t restrain myself when I see you because for some odd reason, I can’t say no to you. 

CB: Hell yeah and I’m extremely pumped. What ever could you mean?

SS: I’m done taking my pants off for you…

CB: So wear a skirt.

CB: Jokes, but don’t act like that was just for me. That was for us. But, hey, that’s totally fair. I make no demands.

SS: Haha. Us is not a thing buddy. I threw myself at you for a year. It as time to draw a line.

CB: Touche. I was upfront about being a bad man from the beginning, at least. I recognize being involved with me is objectively not healthy. Maybe I’ll be different in 10 years. Who knows. It’s been an extremely eventful 2 years here. I spent so much time and energy just staying ahead of the constant, wild life changes.

SS: I know. You had a wild two years. I can’t even begin to imagine and I’m really happy that things turned around. I’m just done giving you a pass for it.

CB: Was I cruel to you?

SS: Cruel might be giving you too much credit. But let’s just say my friends don’t think of you very fondly. You drove me crazy and you never cared. And that’s fine. But you know, I needed a break.

CB: Your friends being OUR friends, eh? That would explain why they started acting distant eventually. I didn’t understand that at the time. For the record, I was/am painfully aware of how inadequate I can be emotionally. So I’d compensate with thunderous sexual performances. It’s a great long term strategy.

SS: Not those friends. My other friends. I actually am self aware enough to not taint OUR friends with my own experiences when it comes to you.

You created that distance all by yourself buddy. And thunderous sex? Honestly, it’s not even that big…

CB: Jesus… I don’t think I know them?

SS: My college friends?

CB: Oh I’ve met them. So when does your book come out?

He knows/thinks (depending if I get my shit together) that I’m writing a book. Also that was a POOR attempt at changing the subject, huh?

SS: Not yet. Still writing it. But don’t worry. There’s a page where I just chew you out. It’s glorious.

See link above.

CB: Ah I have to read it! I kind of perversely enjoy getting yelled at. For context, I’d just become single for the first time since I was 18. I didn’t know how to handle it, other than reverting to what I was like back in the day. Perhaps [our mutual friend] can attest… Not an excuse, just an explanation. These are all recent revelations.

SS: That’s why I didn’t push. I was aware of that. So I waited. And waited. And you know. Then moved on.

And that was the end. Maybe I left him speechless. Maybe he stopped caring. Either way I was lying. Obviously, I haven’t moved on. Obviously I mostly forgive everything. But please stop making me feel like you want me. Stop making me feel embarrassed and ashamed at myself when you don’t ask me to go home with you. I don’t want to wait 10 years. I don’t want you to be different. I just want you more often in my life. 

Call me when you’re back in town. Part of me will always be waiting for you.

Three words. Eight letters. Just say them and I’m yours. 

 

*Locations have been changed to I suppose protect this asshole of a man’s privacy.

The 10 Stages of Phone Loss (in GIF form)

5 May

by Capitol Jill

Ever lost your cell phone? Then you understand the crippling panic, self-doubt and anger that I feel right now. In this big city, my phone could actually be anywhere, and while I know its all my own fault, I can’t help but bitch about it.

FML.

Here is what the process of grieving looked like yesterday:

 

The 10 Stages of Losing Your Phone

 

1. Drunk discovery – Stumbling into the house, you realize you don’t have your phone.

https://i0.wp.com/www.awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/WhateverDrunk.gif

2. Reluctant, Sleepy Acceptance — well, its too late to do anything tonight, and you’re really tired, so maybe everything will be OK in the morning?

https://i1.wp.com/img.izismile.com/img/img6/20130426/1000/why_kids_are_really_just_smaller_versions_of_drunk_adults_04.gif

3. Still-Drunk Morning Freakout – 6 am wake up to feed your cat, and remember that YOUR PHONE IS MISSING. Begin to loose your shit. Until you collapse.

https://i2.wp.com/static.tumblr.com/vdlrffj/SAblu3rn3/doctor-wut.gif

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A Very KardashiANNE Meltdown

2 May

It’s happening again….social season; sometimes lovingly referred to as Betty’s hookup season, also known as the time when all DC Yuppies come out of hiding and frequent roof tops and 14th street and plan beach getaways and concerts and #NATITUDE outings etc etc etc, ALSO known as Spring and Summer.

Well folks, I’m stressed. And because I’ve recently re-discovered Kardashian gifs, they’re going to help me out here.

 

I’ve been a little absent here on the blog, and I absolutely loathe those people who claim to be so busy all the time, but all of a sudden out of nowhere guys, THINGS just started piling on to me! Allow me to outline my last several, and upcoming weekends:

Ohio, Eastern Shore of MD, D.C. but with a gaggle of 2 groups of visitors on the final weekend of Cherry Blossom festival, Chicago, New York, Ocean City, a much needed solo weekend in DC, Florida, Ocean City (while all my friends jet to Myrtle Beach – judging by this schedule, I will not be able to swing it with work), Ohio, Eastern shore of MD. And then it’s the middle of June. And I will inevitably be planning another weekend in New York. Another college reunion. Another wedding.

15 GIFs Of Scott Disick Being A Douche

 

It’s always something. While I’m doing all of this traveling, I’m having severe FOMO of life here in D.C. doing all the things I listed above! I’ve been turning down invites and backing out of plans right and left. I truly want to see my friends during the week, but between studying for a certain postgraduate exam and taking a class, looking at grad schools, looking into details of A DIFFERENT postgraduate exam, and work, it’s tough! Betty gave me a friendly reminder that I may be over committing myself, and I don’t need to do everything, and she is most definitely correct.

13 Girl Codes The Kardashians Do Their Best to Live By

I can’t pin point the places I need to cut back. I miss life in D.C., I want to focus on friends, having fun, dating, and shopping, and instead I’m focused on getting a 170, what’s appropriate wedding gift etiquette, my next career move, and wondering how yesterday it was December and I was sitting around doing nothing and now it’s MAY and I already have plans for September. I feel like every time I get everything perfectly planned and together and I have a chance to catch my breath, it’s time to start planning something else.

20 Stages Of Taking Buzzfeed's "Which Kardashian Are You?" Quiz

 

I’ve gone through this before, and alas I’ve found myself back here again. How do I deal with my ever-transitioning life? I feel like I just got comfortable in D.C., and now I’m talking about going to school or taking jobs elsewhere come 2015?! YIKES. SOS! HELP! It’s also possible that my constant traveling and stress is stemming from my Karen moment a few months ago (ooo deep!).

Maybe I’ll just take Khloe’s advice. Who wants to rip fireball shots and hook up?

Essential Life Rules The Kardashians Taught The World#brohugs

AB

The Thing Ruining My 20s

1 May

Folks,

Over the weekend, I read the truest words anyone has written about what’s poisoning our postgrad years.

It’s not men. It’s not the economy. It’s not alcohol, unless you mean tequila, in which case yes it is literally poisoning you.

IT’S GCHAT.

You might have thought thus far that Gchat was a saving grace, keeping you sane during the workday. Actually, no. Read the article linked above. It’s not only making you less productive (shocker, I know) but it’s having a negative impact on those relationships you think you’re keeping afloat (to her credit, our own Stacie called this a long time ago).

How true is this?

While a concise instant message may seem to be an efficient way to touch base (without strains like rising from your swivel chair), the interaction can quickly turn trite or futile. “A lot of the stuff that happens on Gchat is not necessarily productive and wouldn’t be talked about in real life — it’s surface-level nonsense that’s getting in the way of why you’re in the office to begin with,” Bolt says. The more time you spend swapping complaints about your boss, links to the best video you’ve seen all year and — oh, right — questions about work, the harder it becomes to recover and produce.

And this:

Why ask Google when you can ask a friend? Gchat’s accessibility to smart people with whom we share personal relationships makes finding answers easy — or so we think. But often, typing a “quick q?” to a friend becomes more disruptive and distracting than digging for the answer yourself.

And start gchatting with a new love interest at your peril:

It happens all-too fast: You add your new beau on Gchat, and start chatting from nine-to-five. You debate over lunch spots, talk happy hour plans and vent about the pain of working for a tyrannical supervisor. The days fly by, at first, but the circular conversations can quickly feel confining and inadequate. This day-long chatting poses the illusion that you’ve shared moments and have been in touch, but those experiences are anything but quality.

Fuck that. I’d rather waste my workday blogging.