I’ll Give You Better Coverage Than Obamacare

3 Apr

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Hmmm… tonight I could either hook up with someone, or sign up for Obamacare?

A few of you may have had the pleasure of seeing the text exchange Monday night between me (in the blue) and a fella that from now on will be referred to as Harry. But in case you did not…



Yes, being covered by Obamacare was more important than being covered by me. So naturally, the ladies of SR came up with one of our best Top 10’s to date.


The Top 10 Reasons why Sex is Better than Obamacare

10. A booty call won’t give you a midnight deadline. You can take all the time you need.

9. When it’s “going down”… it’s not because of website maintenance.

8. “Oral” care is always included. Especially if you’re a fan of eating citrus.

7. You don’t need 11,000 pages of regulations and explanations to get what you want in bed.

6. Foreplay only takes a few minutes before you’re good to go. Obamacare will keep you waiting on the phone for hours until you get any type of satisfaction.

5. The new healthcare act may be “Affordable”, but sex is downright free.

4. You won’t come up against any Republican opposition… as long as you make the right proposition.

3. Orgasms aren’t subsidized.

2. Insert John Boehner joke here.

1. Sex is Bipartisan. And isn’t political tolerance what we’re all striving for?


Fortunately my tale has a happy ending. It took Harry all of 7 minutes to realize that he’d rather risk his health in favor of campaigning for a better policy that evening.

Guess that means he missed his deadline. But in my opinion, he backed the right party.

Here’s to better coverage for all of America!



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