No More Ms. Nice Girl

14 Mar

I’m in a bit of a funk.

Everything about everything and everybody is driving me absolutely freakin’ nuts. fjdasl;fjads;dla

me, everytime somebody speaks or looks at me.

It pretty much all started last week. I’m pretty type A – my closet is organized by season, type, color, my nail polish by color, my movies alphabetically, etc….so moving last week just threw a wrench in my life. Although I love my new apartment, it doesn’t really feel like home yet. Things are DEFINITELY still in disarray, I feel like I haven’t had a single minute to organize my closet and my THINGS.

PLUS I turned 24 last week, so cue a maaaaajor quarter life crisis. As my week went on, I was continually reminded that I’m not gallivanting my little college town anymore, something I often forget since DC can sometimes be one big frat party. I was also sick. Very very sick. The doctor banned me from “strenuous activity” which included my beloved spin class.

17 Things That Happen At Your First Spin Class

What was a girl to do the week before her birthday party without sticking to a strict diet and exercise regime?! (I’m cutting out gluten and sugar, and consuming a very very limited amount of processed foods, so maybe that’s got something to do with my funk…) I was miserable. And watched a lot of tv. And shopped. That is what I did the week before my birthday party.

My birthday was the light at the end of the tunnel of last week, and I couldn’t have been more excited. SEVEN of my fabulous college friends (clearly I’ve already lived my glory days) were set to come and I was so. damn. excited. Two of them were in town for something else, three of them live here but I don’t see them nearly often enough, one planned a vacation/visit to see me here, and the other planned a special trip for my birthday.

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So imagine my devastation when the week before, one of my very best friends canceled her trip. After a trying couple months at work, the funk I was entering, and my mysterious illness, I neeeeded some bestie time. I understood why she was unable to come, but it still sucked. I put that behind me and geared up for the big day. When five out of those seven people, including the trip canceler, straight up BAILED, and offered no good excuses, I was pissed, upset, confused, and DRAMATIC.

45 Ridiculous And Amazing GIFs Of Nene Leakes For Her Birthday

In between mild panic attacks that I was secretly the most hated person in America Karen of my friend group, another friend stirred up some REAL drama with a DIFFERENT group of college friends, solidifying my thoughts that I was indeed, Karen (ps if you’re unfamiliar with Karen, watch the video below).

Phone calls/texts/e-mails started to roll in from my friends that things had come up/the night got away from them/they were stuck elsewhere/ and other various explanations. I still felt like Karen, but much less so. (PS – if I actually thought I was the Karen, I would not be writing this. I’m well aware that I am not the Karen. But blacked out Anne thought otherwise)

My night went on and I had an amazing time despite the missing few. My friends are fabulous and so generous. At the end of the night, I chose a burrito  over a boy. WHAT?!?!?! I know. That’s another part of the funk I’m in. Similar to what Jill was feeling recently, I somehow have not been my boy-obsessed self. As I mentioned earlier, I probably lived all my glory days in college. I hooked up with allllll the boys, I went to all of the parties, I experimented with drugs, I bought anything I wanted whenever I wanted. Honestly, I’m  feeling a little been there done that with some of the things my friends are going through.

Everything You Missed In The First Episode Of Lindsay Lohan's New Reality Show

(actually I love it)

*I felt myself relating way too closely to LiLo during parts of her OWN docuseries…… (Just the part where she said there wasn’t a party she hadn’t been to, etc. and didn’t need that stuff anymore – don’t worry y’all!)

This leads to my annoyance as demonstrated by the one and only Jessica Day above. This whole week, I have been on serious edge, everything everybody does is driving me nuts (sorry friends – I love you. And it’s nothing personal, I’m just grumpy). On Tuesday I opted out of a social gathering to sit at home and skype with my mom while drinking wine and online shopping (to be fair, she did buy me a lot of things). Suuuper not betchy of me.

Today, Betty told me to stop being so responsible, and although she meant it jokingly, she was totally right. I’ve started taking everything way, way, WAY too seriously. Sure, I’ve got more drama in my life currently than I have in years, and there’s a lot at stake, but I need to calm the fuck down and learn to live in the god damn moment. WHO CARES IF MY NAIL POLISH ISN’T ORGANIZED BY COLOR? WHO CARES IF I GO HOME WITH THIS BOY AND HE NEVER TEXTS ME AGAIN?

Is this a standard quarter life/post grad dilemma? I recently had to learn a lesson about keeping friendships separate from professional relationships you may have with that same person, and that situation has been a serious rollercoaster and reminded me that I am, in fact, growing up, and there’s more at stake than maybe not getting invited to a party. My whole life I have been uber concentrated on being the most popular, the best dressed, etc., and now that I don’t feel that same pressure, and more important factors are coming into play, I’m feeling a little lost. UGH. I’m even annoyed by myself.

Anybody else experiencing this mid twenties slump? Maybe getting back into the swing of things the next couple weeks will put me on the right track, I guess only time will tell….

Thanks for listening to the rant. I promise I’ll try to be less boring again. XOXO.

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