Queen Bey and Wannabeys

20 Dec

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past 7 days, you know at least two things:

1) Beyonce gave us all an early Christmas present, not to mention set yet another precedent for other artists to live up to (LOL), with her surprise iTunes only visual album.

2) Bey played the Verizon Center for the third time this year (I shamelessly went to dinner and a movie at Gallery Place on Wednesday because I’m a masochist and I wanted to see if I could score some last minute tix for cheap, I also called 95.5 like, 900 times trying to win tickets).

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013

my queen.

So, as a worshipper at the Bey throne, how do I love Beyonce, the album, by Beyonce, the Queen? Let me count the ways.

ps can Beyonce gifs animate my life please?

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013

This whole album makes even the most subdued, lazy, boring human want to do several things:  get DOWN. AND. DIRTY in bed, dance with your best friends, dance in the shower, take a spin class (WHO KNEW SUCH A DESIRE WAS POSSIBLE?) dance in your underwear around your apartment, basically do anything ever. I felt all the feelings after my first listen.

Grown Woman has been one of my favorite songs for the past 6 days  months, it’s a serious empowering chick anthem. I’m actually really sad that Bey changed some of the lyrics. The previous version included this gem which makes me, again, feel all the feelings (mostly, ALIVE):

“I’m a grown woman/so I know how to ride it/I’m a grown woman and I’m so erotic/I’m a grown woman/look down gotcha so excited/I’m a grown woman/look at my body.”

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013

yaaaasssss

Glamour named “The Sexiest Lyrics from Beyonce’s New Album”, and they pretty much nailed it.  Both “Partition” and “Blow” had me crawling out of my god damn skin, and “Partition” included a zinger of a Monica Lewinsky line, which I’m always a fan of. If you’re ever feeling not in the mood (again, LOL), just take a listen and I promise you, you’ll be good to go in t minus five minutes, especially if you add in a glass or seven of wine (I may be talking about myself on Saturday night…). Please trust me when I tell you this Beyonce obsession is one your boyfriend/brofriend will fully support if you act even one ounce like Bey does in any of the aforementioned songs.

“When you lick my skittles/it’s sweetest in the middle”

lanactrlaltdelrey:JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

***Flawless is another one of my favorites, it makes me want to conquer the world in a matter of seconds. It’s hard for me to put into words the feels that Bey makes me feel during ***Flawless. It’s another anthem complete with encouraging words from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie where they instruct us to take no shit, to be all that we can be, and to fuck the haters. #girlpower

“Bow down bitches/…./Momma taught me good home training/My Daddy taught me how to love my haters/My sister taught me I should speak my mind/My man made me feel so God damn fine”

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013

A few more quick notes:

1) Blue Ivy is old enough to speak? Okay.

2) Saying “Le Sex” in a french accent is my new thing.

3) Superpower is not my favorite, but it’s still FINE.

4) Despite my sadness over the changed “Grown Woman” lyrics, it’s still my alarm every morning (bye).

From “Blue” to “XO” to “Partition” to “Grown Woman”, Beyonce is so much more than just music, it’s Beyonce’s textbook to life. Bey is proof that we really can have it all, she’s an intelligent, hard working mother and wife, a superstar, and, an apparent dominatrix.

50 Times Beyonc� Ran The World In 2013

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One Response to “Queen Bey and Wannabeys”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Let’s Celebrate My Favorite Celebrity Couple… | STOP REQUESTED - February 14, 2014

    […] In the spirit of the holiday, I’m going to share with you my favorite couple of the moment. They make me want to be in love SO BADLY that it’s disgusting. If you follow SR on the twitters (you should, we’re hilarious, le duh), you know that at least one of us has a sick obsession with Chrissy Teigen, and that one of us is me. (woman crush wednesday all day err day over here clearly) […]

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