In Which I Try “Being Exclusive” ?????

3 Dec

by Stacie Smack

I’ve recently taken on a lover. HA. That is to mean, I’m kind of “seeing” someone, maybe. Despite my questionable performance, he decided to stick around, and a month later, I haven’t slept with anyone else. For all those people that know me, this is pretty shocking. However, now that winter is setting in, it’s pretty convenient to have a person with a penis that can come over after 10:30pm and help you warm up the bed…

Last night, one of my few friends that knows about this asked me if and when did I think everyone could meet him. The obvious answer is NEVER. I cannot fathom a scenario where mixing the two together would end well for him, my friends or me, really. I have a pretty strong aversion to anything resembling commitment or emotional attachments.  Mixing lovers and friends? Definitely falls in both categories. NOPE.

And here’s the other thing – he’s a perfectly nice normal guy (who is obviously in love with me). But I am so worried of my friends judging me for dating him and for judging him and then telling me what they think which inevitably will make me like him less that I refuse to entertain the possibility of bringing him anywhere that could lead to this. And to be clear, everyone knows about Chuck Bass, everyone hates Chuck Bass, and I still love Chuck Bass. So it’s not like I run my life based on what my friends think (at least not when it comes to casual relationships with jackasses).

Cheers to judgy friends and insecurity!

It might have to do that I’ve tried to hook up with at least three of my (now) guy friends who are (in my eyes) way hotter and I can’t imagine them meeting this guy. It might have to do with the fact that this kid has a pretty goofy haircut that left my friend speechless when I showed her on Facebook. It might have to do with the fact that he reads comics and reviews them for a blog and I have never opened a comic book in my life nor do I intend to. None of these facts are good reasons though.

Pretty accurate… except 26 and 5’8″

He is the first guy who’s ever offered me coffee in the mornings (and needless to say, one of the first ones to stay until morning coffee time) and offered to make me omelettes on Saturdays. He is definitely on my list of top three best lays and the first one who’s made me think that I could finally say no to Chuck Bass (maybe… I think… hopefully). He makes me laugh, and he hasn’t run away even after hearing me snore at night or seeing me come out of the shower without make up on. And that is pretty fucking scary. Seriously, the other day, I decided to hang the towel that he used in the shower rather than throwing it in the laundry for “next time”… Excuse me while I go vomit everywhere.

I guess, the thing is, I’m never going to fall in love with him. But winter is just starting, and eventually he’s going to get bored of meeting up at 2am AFTER I’m done going out with my friends, and I need to keep this going at least through New Year’s, though ideally Valentine’s Day because let’s be real, sometimes I’m just SO over being single. And when we’re seeing each other three nights a week, it leaves almost no time to go out and find other men!

So, what’s a girl to do? The mere thought of calling him anything other than “A guy I’m sleeping with” makes me want to run over to Public Bar, take three tequila shots and make out with the first sucker over six feet I can find. However, realizing that he hasn’t invited me to be his +1 at his holiday party (which I can’t make anyways loser) makes me want to cry. And the possibility of my co-workers knowing that we are still hooking up, long after we’ve stopped playing social sports makes me petrified with fear. And all I really want is for him to tell me that he’s head over heels about me and not expect me to feel the same way! Is that too much to ask??????

For now, I’ll just wait for him to text me (which he inevitably will do before the day is over)…


3 Responses to “In Which I Try “Being Exclusive” ?????”

  1. Jenna Rambles December 3, 2013 at 9:16 am #

    awww, this is so weird but in a good way. I can’t say I understand what your going through when it comes to being able to just sleep with someone. But I do know what its like to have serious commitment issues and anxiety lol. I avoid all my friends and family from ever meeting the guy I’m with for the same reasons. Judgement. That and my friends are extremely flirty :/. Well, anyway’s, all the best and I hope that you get what you want out of this. Also, don’t break the poor lads heart =(


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