20,000 Things The Internet Needs To Stop Telling 20somethings

10 Oct

by Brownout Betty


Real talk guys, I love reading listicles that I can relate to and the Internet’s ability to bring like-minded perspectives to my computer screen and all that stuff. But I am getting a little sick of Thought Catalog, the Huffington Post, and BuzzFeed painting this idealized-yet-somehow-perfectly-flawed picture of 20something life that seems to be dictating our collective impression of being in our 20s. By being pretty relatable but not entirely, articles like these draw us in but then make us feel like we’re most of the way there, but still have to make a ton of changes in order to conform to this picture.

I am so over it.

For instance:

  • Make up your freaking mind about how slutty I’m allowed to be. One-night stands – must-have experience, or vile remnant of college life? JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO! No actually, don’t. If we could get some actually thoughtful analysis on what is good or bad about a one night stand, it might actually be helpful. But these listicles tend to just give a sound byte that makes thousands of girls nod in agreement but doesn’t really give them anything useful to improve their attitudes or behavior. See, for instance:

14. It is essential in one’s life to experience a one night stand. The awkward morning-after will remind you that you aren’t made for consistent promiscuity. The allure of a dirty night with a relative stranger will make you feel like Pamela incarnate.

I’VE NEVER BEEN SO CONFUSED!

  • STOP TELLING ME TO EAT SO MUCH! Yes, I get it, we have bad self control and we shouldn’t subscribe to these false ideas of thinspiration and starve ourselves and stuff. But stop inculcating this idea that it is SO OKAY for me to indulge myself that I close my laptop, run to the grocery store, and buy a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream (yes, that seriously happened on Sunday). internet, you are not helping.
  • I do not need the shit you are telling me to buy! Looking at you BuzzFeed! Ok whatever that list is about women in their 30s, but the point stands. Seriously, are salad bowl companies paying you to make me feel bad about all the stuff I’m too immature and poor to have? I can’t even with you people.

So what’s the alternative? I would say that much of the inspiration for these types of articles comes from the wild success of Fuck! I’m In My 20s, one of my favorite blogs that is now a book you can buy at Urban Outfitters or something. The difference there was that the blog doesn’t tell you how to live your life. It makes poignant observations on how we ALREADY live our lives, but that is different from preaching at me about the changes I therefore need to make.

And secondly, I’m definitely not opposed to advice. I’m just kind of over these faux-realistic lifestyle articles that just make me feel bad about myself while pretending to be boosting my ego. If you’re over it, too, may I recommend some advice for 20 somethings that might actually help?

More of that, plz.

Brownout, out.

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