10 Couples You’ll Meet in DC

4 Oct

We’ve all seen ’em, some of them aren’t so politically correct to call out, but I know what you’re thinking…

1. The Power Couple

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Aside from the original political power couple, Francis and Clare Underwood Bill and Hillary, we all know at least one DC couple where it’s all for show and gain, be it the Hill Staffer duo who met bragging about whose boss is more important, or the Lobbyist partners who look equally hot in pantsuits.

2. The Beautiful Couple

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Having just been named one of the preppiest cities in the country, you would expect many a DC couple to be beautiful. Most #2s also double as #1, 3, 7, 8, 9, or 10. You generally find these couples brunching quietly and perfectly poised in a corner on Sunday next to your rowdy crew, or walking their perfect goldendoodle near the Georgetown waterfront. They’re flawless and you can’t tear your eyes away from them all the while wondering why you and your (imaginary) boyfriend can’t be so effortlessly perfect.

3. The Housewife

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The campaign press assistant turned housewife who keeps a tighter leash on her shmoozey husband than she did on her candidate (or so she thinks…). You find her at weekday brunches, afternoon spin classes, $5,000 a pop fundraisers for Texas congressmen, and occasionally in her Range Rover in the Georgetown Day School’s pick up line (entirely dependent on the employment status of a nanny at any given time).

4. The Lopsided Couple

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You see them on every outing and double, triple take. How did that less than plain Jane girl nab that beautiful, perfect, belongs in the Smithsonian, can’t take his hands or eyes off of her MAN?! And vice versa! You see them on the metro and simply can’t help but wonder, “who is his/her father?”.

5. The Hipsters

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You find them on H Street, U Street, and AdMo. At least one of them is a political blogger, the other is trying to “find themselves”. You bop into their favorite joints with your friends and exclaim, “this place is so undiscovered and raw!”, they roll their eyes, because they found it 8 months ago. They wear flannel and sip hot coffee in the middle of July while they walk their scruffy dog down 18th street.

6. The Interns

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They can’t keep their hands off each other on the Red Line. They have 3 short months together before they return to their insignificant college towns and even more insignificant others… and they’re gonna make it worth it.

7. The Runners

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Self explanatory. You’re struggling to walk 3 blocks to the orange line after too much champagne and eggs benny at brunch, and you seem to remember them running past you at least six times already. No sweat, perfect Nike workout gear, carrying on a conversation as if they’re out for a leisurely stroll, in-shape pup pulling them along. Sometimes all you can do to escape their judging looks is hop in a cab and high tail it back to your bed.

8. The Future First Family

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Some combination of #1 and #2. It is 2013, however, so perhaps the woman really is wearing the pants, and we’re catapulting towards our premier “First Man” (First Husband? we don’t even have a defined term for this, do we? Commence the WAR ON MEN!)

9. The Adorable Gays

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Dupont. Just go to Dupont (the #gayborhood). And see hope for America.

10. The Arguers

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You can cut the tension on your metro car with a knife. You feel it before you even spot them. Their biting words occupy your trip from Dupont to Chinatown, and from Chinatown to Union they sit in complete silence until she stands up and marches out before the doors are fully open. He rolls his eyes, sighs, and stalks along behind her.

Let me know if you stumble upon any of these gems! Vines, instagram videos, and good ole twitpics appreciated! @stoprequesteddc

#brohugs

AB

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2 Responses to “10 Couples You’ll Meet in DC”

  1. dollf8ced October 4, 2013 at 10:08 am #

    I’m moving to D.C.! Lol, funny list and enjoyable read!

    • annebroleyn October 4, 2013 at 11:24 am #

      Let me know if WHEN you see any of these! @stoprequesteddc

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